Omar was troubled. He found himself walking about the tall pines of the historic all male Bayard Rustin College. Sleep failed to come to him at night. Peace eluded him during daylight. He knew if he did not talk to someone soon, he would commit a very “vile’ act with his roommate, Shawn. Stroking his luscious nine and a half piece to the rhythm of Shawn’s snoring gave him temporary ease. But it was not enough.
Omar, proud, black, track man, with the chiseled muscular body packed into 20 years of living found himself on his knees. Tears ran down his face and dripped on his dark chocolate thighs. Omar was crying to Dr. Hansom the chaplain and Dean of Men at Bayard Rustin.
“Dr. I have sinned! I have sinned,” wailed Omar as Dr. Hansom listened attentively. Dr. Hansom at age 35 was the youngest man ever to hold a Deanship at the small all black, all male southern college nestled deep in the woods about thirty miles north of Atlanta. The college was of course named after a historic civil rights figure who was gay. Fifty percent of the students were openly gay, The rest weren’t sure of themselves. Omar was in the latter group of uncertain young men. In an effort to make his young charges comfortable and due to the fact that he was a young 35 in good shape (6’3” 195 lbs) Dr. Hansom’s clothing consisted of baggy jeans, Timberlands, and a comfortable sweatshirt. He hated restrictive suits and ties. He also hated underwear. It was rumored that he often ran late at night along his secret jogging path, with nothing but a jockstrap between him and the cool night air. When he sat in his office and counseled his students, his low hanging jeans gave a hint of nice bubble beauty.
Dr. Hansom listened to Omar wail. But this was nothing new or surprising to him. Dr. Hansom offered Omar a tissue, but Omar was too distraught to take it. Dr. Hansom gently wiped Omar’s tears.
“Now, now, son, tell Doc Han what’s troubling you so.” He always called his students “son” to put some respectable distance between him and his charge of rough and ready young black men.. Of course when he was on the basketball court, he forgot himself and called then “nigga” and “dawg” as he did his thing with that roundball.
“Doc Han, I …I think I’m gay,” Omar said quietly.